Ice Breaker
Write the first word you think of when you hear “COMMUNICATION.” Explain why.
Directions: Share openly. OK procedures? Gave permission to children?
Why Listen?
Good listening produces satisfaction and success.
Levels of Communication
1. Casual Social Interchange
With strangers and casual acquaintances:
- Little concentration or involvement needed
- Subject matter stays surface-level
- Basic friendliness keeps doors open for future contact
Caution: Avoid “pat” answers like “How are you?” → “Good!” to every question.
2. Personal Social Level
When mutual interest develops beyond casual talk:
- More important than weather comments
- Ideas and information get exchanged
- Main goal: Enjoy the relationship and feel personal acceptance
Requires sensitivity to others’ feelings.
3. Information and Idea Level
Focuses on content, not always personal connection:
- Can happen in lecture halls, meetings, or projects
- Involves intellectual processes
- Warning: Emotions can distort perception if ignored
4. Peak Communication Level
Most rewarding—transforms being into living:
- Two people share innermost thoughts, wants, and feelings
- Requires real caring for each other
- Exposes your private self and accepts theirs supportively
- Needs mutual confidence and safety
- Demands empathy—understanding without judgment
Secure self-image makes this level possible.
Occurs in: Marriage, family, friendships, group commitment, even chance encounters with strangers.
Attitudes for Effective Listening
- Willingness to listen
- Genuine interest in people and their ideas
- Readiness to learn
Strong self-image makes it easy to admit others have wisdom to share.
Empathy and Sensitivity
Key skills for deep listening:
- Awareness of your own feelings toward the speaker
- Emotional involvement with the person and topic
- Detecting others’ needs and desires
- Understanding and demonstrating acceptance of their emotions
Empathy defined: Understanding another’s feelings, acknowledging their right to feel that way (even if you disagree), and communicating acceptance. May include shared emotions or beliefs.
Requires: Openness and trust. Fear and suspicion destroy it.
Barriers to Listening
Preoccupation
Focus on the problem at hand. Stay present.
Rate of Thinking vs. Speaking
- Conversations: 100–125 words per minute
- Thinking: 400–600 words per minute
Your brain has “leisure time”:
- Mind wanders on side trips
- Reduces information retained
Turn this into an ASSET:
- Organize thoughts—spot patterns
- Analyze cause/effect
- Stay actively involved
- Learn silence
- Listen for feelings
Benefits: Active, creative listening helps you grow as a person.
Empathetic Listening
DO
- Listen with eyes and heart
- Sincerely desire to understand
- Seek first to understand, then to be understood
- Stay open
DON’T
- Listen just to reply
- Project your own experiences (evaluating, judging, probing, advising)
- Use empathy as a technique
Five Steps to Empathetic Listening
- Mimic the content of what they said
- Rephrase the content
- Reflect their feelings
- Rephrase content + reflect feelings
- Learn when NOT to reflect
Key Reminders
- The deepest human need: To be understood
- Understanding ≠ agreeing
- Wrong attitude makes empathetic responses backfire